‘’Mavanavarantha adhrushtashali hindhe yendu huttilla mundhe yendu huttalla’’ These were the words of my brother in law Mr.Nagaraj Gupta (Hospet). Having seen my father for over 60 years now, Bava is aware of his nature both positive and negative.
I feel it is a matter of perception of how one feels about a person. I say this because to opine on a person whether he is positive or negative means to actually highlight our ‘ego’ and in this process we should correct it. Most of us perceived our father as ‘strict’. I feel this is an incomplete statement and over the years I have realised he is not just strict but actually a strict disciplinarian. We have seen this in many instances with his manners, principles, punctuality etc. Rajani has appropriately highlighted this in her blog on how my father used to be on time. This is the discipline he followed ........ and he still follows.
My father is a self made man. He got married at a young age of 16. Despite this he completed his education. He gave a lot of importance to education and he wanted all of his children to complete their studies. He wanted all of us to be graduates. Even after a long day’s work he used to come home and help my elder brothers and sisters in their school work. I being the youngest of his children was not lucky enough to get his guidance in studies and even to this day I regret missing this interaction with him. By the time I started my schooling he had lots of responsibilities to take care of both at the business front and at home and I feel this was the reason for this. On the other hand he used to drop me to school every morning in his car and in the evening he used to pick me up. At times he had to wait for 10-15 minutes for me to finish at school but he patiently waited. I really miss those days. This quality of his has taught me the importance of spending quality time with family. Nowadays we are busy in our own world that we fail to give time for our children (family). I feel very lucky to be born to such dedicated parents.
My father had a strict exterior but was very protective and caring of us. He never said ‘no’ to our wants and needs. He ensured we got the best quality in whatever we wanted. Nowadays we say that we are very tired at the end of the day after the household chores but despite having 11 children to look after, never did our parents every say that they were tired to look after us. One day my father was filling a tub with water. My mother suggested to him to take help from one of us for which my father replied ‘’Manamu kanindedhi valki cheseki valtho chepinchukoneki kadhu’’ (We beget children so that we do things for them not to get things done from them).
I should say my mother supported my father very well in all walks of life. Though my mother’s name is Balalakshmi it’s more befitting to say that she was truly a Bhagyalakshmi in my father’s life. And with this ‘Bhagya’ my father enjoyed all the maximum gruhastha celebrations namely 60th Birthday, 70th Birthday, 80th Birthday, 60th Wedding anniversary, kanakabishekam as a couple. They performed the marriages of all their children with the same enthusiasm and dedication. My father was there when my elder daughter Shilpa’s marriage was being fixed. He proudly mentioned to me then that he was mediating for a marriage for the 24th time. He clearly records all his dealings and incidents in his mind and his memory power is superb even today at the ripe age of 97.
My father is a man with principles. He never liked bargaining in shops. If a customer bargained and gave a few rupees less he would return the whole amount back. When he went out shopping he followed this principle and never bargained in shops. He is one of the leading businessmen in Bellary. He achieved this without compromising any family ties. In spite of having such a busy family and business life I do not know how he used to find time for social work. He did all these activities with full dedication and never for the sake of doing it. He is a practical man and never talks unnecessarily. I am reminded of the proverb ‘ Mathu adidare ayithu. Muthu hodidare hoyithu’ (Words once spoken can’t be taken back like a diamond once broken can’t be mended). We lose credibility and respect by talking unnecessarily but my father commanded respect with his few words which always had relevance to the situation.
Once there was an excursion planned from our school and I went to my father to ask for permission. For whatever reason he said no. Obviously like any other child tears started rolling down my cheeks and I burst out crying. Seeing this, my father eventually agreed to send me to the school trip. When I went to him to seek permission for future trips he used to remind me of this episode and say ‘If I say no then you will cry. So go and enjoy’
Once we were all going in a bus to Harapanahalli for our uncle P.C.Pandu’s marriage. On the way we encountered a cart with flowers, milk etc. In delight my father pointed this out to me as I was sitting next to him. Not realising that this was a good omen I asked him ‘Is this bad?’ To this my father became angry and pointed out ‘Ninni convent lo chedvichindhanki nuvvu itle matladathi’ implying I did not pay heed to hindu culture and traditions. It is no surprise to anybody the importance he has given to Hindu culture and traditions. He wears Khadhi even today and you can see books relating to Hinduism, philosophy, Adhyathma etc in his room which he reads daily. In the name of ‘’progress’’ and ‘’recognition’’ we aspire western tradition and attitudes and we are forgetting our own traditional values. My father did not preach this but he set a positive example by following it sincerely.
One Day my father was in the audience when I was part of the Republic Day parade. Though everybody said we had done well, my father congratulated me but at the same time corrected me by pointing out that my posture was wrong and my back was not straight. He always sought perfection in whatever he did and encouraged us to seek perfection as well. I quote a saying from Swami Vivekananda ‘EDUCATION IS THE MANIFESTATION OF PERFECTION ALREADY IN MAN’ My father is a living example for this as he encouraged all of us to have good education and in his daily activities he became a role model to us by seeking perfection in everything.
Chandrakala Jagadeeshwara
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