‘Eat to Live, and not Live to Eat'. This phrase must have been coined looking at my father. The simple diet he has set for himself is a great boon to his health. My God, what will power he has, not to get tempted at the goodies prepared everyday at home! However, he gives the credit of his good health to my mother. It is she who used to prepare food that is healthy for him, he says. It is also encouraging to see how my sisters-in-law continue my mother's tradition of cooking healthy food for him. I applaud everyone for their efforts and setting an example for all of us.
He is so punctual; you could set your watch by him, if it ever stopped. I remember traveling with him a lot, many a time to find a suitable match for one of my brothers. I still remember one time, when we were supposed to depart at 9 am. All of us were ready at 9:05, but my father was nowhere to be found. We looked all over the house, wondering how my father could be late. It is when one of us spotted him sitting in the car, waiting for us that we realized that we were late by 5 minutes. That day we all learnt that 9 am means 8:59:59 am for my father.
Even now when I travel I prefer to eat idlis, something my father taught me. It is easy to digest and comfortable while traveling he said. It makes me think of him when I order idlis while traveling even now.
Being the only child, he must have felt lonely growing up. Although he has never mentioned it, I feel that was the motivation to have 11 children. None of us have ever felt lonely. It is very encouraging to visit the home I was born and brought up in. When my children were young, we used to spend most of their holidays in Bellary. Even after all these years we are still welcome and we are still pampered like the little children of the house we once were. This credit not only goes to my parents, but also to my brothers and sisters-in-law, nephews and nieces and their spouses, and their children. I want to acknowledge everyone and especially my father for keeping this family so tightly knit together.
Talking about my father is incomplete without mentioning my mother. Her companionship has given my father a lot of strength and motivation, which he humbly acknowledges. Looking back at their harmonious time together gives me so much encouragement. Once he retired, I remember my father spending most of his time with my mother. He would play board games - baara gatta, pichala peeta - with her, and help her in any chores she did, like picking stones from the rice pile, or peeling vegetables. The only day I remember my father missing his meals is on May 1st 1998, the day my mother passed away. We all knew my father was very strong, his emotional side was seen on that day.
We all found a friend in him only after he retired. Till then when we heard his car horn, we would rush into the room; reduce the volume of the radio and so on. After his retirement, he sits with us for hours in the lawns of Hotel Pola Paradise, and share with us his childhood memories and his experiences in life.
Being a staunch follower of Mahatma Gandhi, he still wears only Khadi clothes. He used to take us to Khadi Emporium during Gandhi Jayanti and encourage us to buy Khadi towels or use the Khadi to stitch night clothes. That is his way of encouraging us to use Khadi in some or the other form.
For Ugadi festival he would buy new clothes for all of us and he would change his sacred thread (Janivaaram) and wear a new one on that day. And when asked he would say, he is happy seeing all of us in new clothes.
He maintains a diary with birthdays and anniversaries of all the family members and announces it to everyone on that day. It makes me feel special and loved when I hear from people who call to wish me that they were reminded of my birthday by my father.
There are many things small and big that remind me of my father day to day. I regret crying to go to school when I was young. I was studying at St. Philomena’s High School. For some reason which I don’t remember now, I didn't like that school and cried to go there. Finally my father shifted me to M.B.S.L High School, and I was very happy. He used to visit the school as chief-guest for the annual day, which made me very proud. Although I liked it then, I soon realised that studying in a telugu-medium school compromised my English. I carry the regret of not listening to my father.
Once during diwali festival, the house was full of diyas, and somehow my frock caught fire. My father came and rubbed the frock in between his palms to put off the fire. I was too young to remember, if he burnt his hands.
I remember he once gave me a gift envelope with some cash, which I promptly put in my purse. Then he quoted a saying in Telugu that "you should always count your money, even if you are throwing it into a well". I cultivated the habit of always counting money while giving or receiving, from that day.
I learnt from my father - not to trade but invest in the stock market. That advise has come in handy. I felt very happy when he gifted shares to me; hence I continued the tradition by gifting shares to my children, on special occasions.
When my Mother-in-law fractured her leg in the year 2000, I took care of her for some time. When he heard about this, he called me and said that "God does not give the opportunity of serving elders to everybody. You are blessed with this opportunity, so take care of her with a good heart." Those words were so encouraging and have made a lasting impression on me. His words came back ringing in my ears recently, when I visited him in the hospital on 29th Aug. 2010, with a fractured leg. I found at least 20 people in a day with a good heart, taking care of him in shifts. What advice he gave me 10 years back is coming back to him in many folds.
A special note:
I am blessed to have parents like you. There is not a single day I could feel differently. I thank you for everything you have done for me. I want to convey special thanks for finding a wonderful life partner for me. My husband is the best gift in my life, and I want to thank you for finding him for me.
Rajani Ramkumar
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